Like We Once Were
by TheLastRider
Summary: Murtagh hopes that someday he and Eragon can be friends- like they once were. This shows Murtagh's regret, bitterness, hatred, and hope, even in his miserable life. Poem form, two shots. Please read and review! Will only take a minute! Flame if you want!
1. Chapter 1

I tried so hard,

to live, to love, to be free-

And I've failed.

All I have is gone-

Taken like blood-

Forever.

I am not who I was.

You are not who you were

When we first met.

We were friends-

We are brothers-

And now, all is lost.

You condemn me for all I've done,

But I am helpless.

I am not my own master.

Did you even listen to me,

Last time we met?

I heard you,

But I wonder if you really care.

You go off and arrange weddings, court an elf,

Living a life of luxury,

While I scream in chains

For what I've done-

For what you haven't-

And you don't hear me.

You don't even try.

I swear, 'brother',

I will have my revenge.

I will!

And there will be blood

For all that has happened to me.

Red like Thorn's scales,

Red like the sword we shared,

Red like the blood we've spilled,

Red.

That blood may not be yours,

But it will influence you

All the same.

And you will know

That I did it.

I will leave my mark.

I will have my revenge.

Those screams may not be yours,

That blood may not be yours,

That life may not be yours,

But you will know of it all the same.

But just know-

If your idea ever works-

If I am ever free-

If you ever forgive me-

If I ever forgive you-

You are my family.

I am your family.

You are my last human companion.

You are my friend,

Even though

I am not who I was

And

You are not who you were.

Maybe,

When this damn war is over,

When the King is nothing but a pile of ash,

When I am free,

When you have fulfilled your vows,

When I've forgiven you,

When you've forgiven me-

Maybe-

If I dare to hope-

If I dare to dream-

If I dare to think this thought-

We can be friends,

Like we once were.


	2. Chapter 2: I Didn't Choose This Life

**Hi! So I thought this was going to be a one shot, but today I had inspiration from T.S. Eliot, and I wrote this. Enjoy, and please review!**

I didn't ask for this life-

I didn't ask for your pity, either.

Your sympathy only condemns me,

So you may as well hate me.

I didn't ask for this life.

Who would want slavery?

Who would choose pain?

Who would ask to be hated?

To be scorned, ridiculed, mocked;

Damned, cursed, and loathed?

I didn't ask for this life.

I didn't choose for everything to be lost

Forever.

First my mother- my father was good riddance-

Then Tornac, my only friend,

Then Eragon and hope.

And then the only thing I had left-

Freedom.

I didn't ask for this life.

He forced it upon me;

He stole my true name,

He took my freedom.

I didn't ask for this life.

I never wanted to be a monster,

To kill innocents and destroy lives.

I didn't want to kill Hrothgar,

Nor Oromis and Glaedr.

They were my hope as well as the worlds.

I didn't ask for this life.

I asked for death,

And even that hope was taken.

So stop blaming me;

Stop condemning me.

If you cared,

You would try to help.

You don't hear my plea for freedom;

You don't know how hard I've tried

to reach that goal.

You don't know how hard I've tried

to disobey,

to stop,

to die.

Forgive me, if you have a heart in you.

Forgive me, when you see the Truth.

Forgive me, even if I'm already dead.

Forgive me,

When you realize-

I didn't choose this life.


	3. Chapter 3 Darkness

**I rather like this one! Enjoy! **

Darkness.

Everywhere.

Unavoidable, unmistakable, inescapable.

Welcome to my life.

I live in the Shadow of Death,

A living Hell,

Where light has no meaning,

Where hope cannot penetrate,

Where freedom is a forgotten thought.

Creatures of evil prowl the streets,

Bloodthirsty, violent, eager for chaos.

They rejoice at pain,

They mock the hopeless,

They thrive in the blackness

Of Hell.

They love the darkness,

Serving a Black King,

Torturing the lost souls

Who've wandered away

From goodness,

From peace,

From life.

Those souls, those forgotten minds,

Are lost

Forever.

They cannot escape.

They do not know hope.

They do not know light.

But they remember freedom,

And in the darkness,

Grope on hands and knees for it,

Bleeding,

Crying,

Begging for something-

For anything-

For proof that there is more than this.

But they are lost.

Here is my question:

Am I one of those lost, hopeless souls,

Or one of the demons?

Am I one of the doomed lot,

Who crave light,

Who grasp for hope;

Or one who thrives

In the murky depths?

One who enjoys the agony,

The pain, the emptiness,

That is this Hell?

I don't know anymore.

I think I used too-

But the memory is lost,

The idea forgotten,

The hope slipped away

As sand in an hourglass.

Time.

It is my Master,

My executor,

My warden.

It is my Deliverer,

My Savior,

My Teacher.

For time will answer my question.

Time will tell me

Whether there is hope,

And freedom,

And life,

Or if there is just this darkness,

This everlasting night.

Time is my Master.

It binds me here,

To grope in the emptiness

For signs of life,

To strive for something,

For anything,

With no success.

Does that make me a lost soul?

But my Black King,

My eager Lord,

I am his servant,

The one who works his schemes,

To executes the agonies he has planned,

To punish those who are innocent,

To condemn those who have hope,

To kill those who know light.

At one point,

I enjoyed it.

I loved my newfound power,

I basked in my undimmed glory,

I mocked those beneath me.

Does that make me a demon?

But that time has passed-

Does that change me?

Have I gained or lost ground

In this empty world,

From shifting from demon to

Forgotten soul?

Misery and pain

Are my companions

In this Hell.

And it shall be

Forevermore…

Or so it feels.

For time is immune to

This living Hell,

This Shadow of Death.

Time will tell me.

If Time even exists.


End file.
